Everybody wonders what happens when we die.
Maybe we just go into the ground, food for the worms. Maybe we go to an awesome place where all the other dead people we miss are waiting there for us, good as new.
But I was at the gym today and my mind started to wander. I started thinking, what if when I died, I just woke up in a big open area of nothingness. Like basically a huge, infinite, empty room.
This was kind of interesting to think about. It was neither terrifying nor comforting. It just kind of was.
So I started to think, well what would I do once I got there?
I figured the first thing I would do is sing. It would probably sound good with all that inifinite reverb. I would sing and clap my hands. It’s the sound I’ve been trying to make all these years, the sound of my dad singing and clapping in the shower.
After I got tired of that, I think I would say out loud how I really felt about everybody I had lived with. I would probably cry some, and scream some.
It’s hard to say the things you really feel about someone to their face. Not because you don’t believe it, but it’s just that the words don’t come out sometimes. Or maybe it’s just awkward.
But right now, I’ll just say Mom I really love you and you are just a picture of sweetness.
And Dad, you’re my hero.
Grandma, I didn’t understand you until I was 20 years old. Then you died. Now I understand you more every single day.
There. That wasn’t so hard. I would probably say a whole lot more, but I just wanted to experiment there a bit.
Once I had said all that, I think the only thing left do to would just be to start running. I would run as long as I could and then just stop and rest up and then keep on running.
Maybe it would be peaceful. Just to go on running forever.